EMDR Certified
EFT Trained
You feel like no matter what you do, you can’t become the person you want to be.
There’s a voice in the back of your mind pointing out everything you’ve done wrong—your mistakes, your flaws, the ways you don’t measure up. Even though a part of you knows these thoughts aren’t completely accurate, that knowledge doesn’t make them go away. In fact, it makes things feel worse. You may start to believe that, since you “know better,” you should feel and do better—so the fact that you don’t just adds more guilt and frustration.
Even Getting out of bed in the morning can feel like a huge effort.
And even when you manage to get through the day, it can be hard to find any real enjoyment or energy—especially for the things that matter most. Instead, you might find yourself avoiding important tasks and filling your time with things that feel better in the moment but ultimately leave you feeling unfulfilled, like video games, scrolling on social media, using alcohol or marijuana, or watching TV. You may sleep too much during the day and still struggle to fall asleep at night. Either way, you feel exhausted—mentally and physically—and everything takes more energy than it should.
In your day to day life you might be…
Struggling in your relationships with family, friends or partner and unable to communicate how you really feel
Unmotivated to engage in activities which are meaningful to you such as hobbies, social activities or going to the gym
Isolating from friends or family for fear of being misunderstood, weak or incapable
You may not know how to spend your time; things which used to feel meaningful may not feel important anymore
You might feel this way due to relationship issues, a life transition such as a breakup, moving to a new city or change in career.
Or perhaps there’s nothing specific you can point to. Things just feel “off”, “dull” or “grey”. You may even daydream about disappearing or not waking up- not because you want to die, but because life is too painful to live.
You may find that your relationship or marriage is struggling, you’re isolating from friends, fearful of judgement from other people, struggling to participate in activities which are meaningful to you or falling behind at work.
How I Can Help
Therapy with me often begins with creating a “scaffolding” around the confusing or painful emotions you may be experiencing. This means gently naming and making sense of what’s happening—like the deeper reasons for “why” it feels so hard to complete simple tasks, why you might shut down during conflict, or why you constantly feel judged by others even when you know that it’s not true. This meaning- making process is about answering the question with more than just “because I’m lazy” or “because there is something wrong with me”.
We often create unhelpful thought or behavior patterns to protect ourselves from deeper pain; sometimes this happens below the level of conscious thinking or knowing. Unfortunately, the price for the short-term relief these behaviors create is staying stuck in the long-term. Together, we’ll explore these “defenses” that you have built up and explore why they are there and what they protect.
Throughout this process, we will begin to come in contact and get to know the more vulnerable and often painful feelings that your defenses are protecting you from. Over time, this understanding can create space for new ways of relating to yourself and the world, ones that may have previously felt out of reach.
I believe that with the right context and support, your mind will naturally lead us to what needs to be repaired. For that reason, you will be in the driver’s seat of where we go and what we explore in any given session. My role is more that of a collaborator than a teacher. With that said, here are some general themes we may explore:
How depression affects the brain and body
Beliefs and perspectives which result in troublesome feelings and behaviors
Family of origin, culture, past relationships, past adverse experiences or trauma affect your depression
How your health, loss, life changes and other experiences affect how you feel today
Improving lifestyle, emotional regulation, relationship skills, effective habits and other external problems
For those who are open to medication, a referral to a psychiatrist may be recommended.
Once we’ve made intellectual sense of your symptoms and built the necessary skills and lifestyle changes, we can begin to process and release some of the feelings unearthed during the “scaffolding” part of treatment. This type of processing goes beyond intellectual awareness and understanding. It’s about truly feeling, expressing and releasing the thoughts, beliefs, feelings and somatic reactions which originally caused the depression. I often use EMDR and other “body-based” approaches during this process.
On the other side of the work we will do together, you will not only feel unburdened by the problems which bring you here, but you will also feel a renewed sense of connection to who you really are. You'll have gained an inner wisdom and compass which will serve you for the rest of your life.
Therapy for Depression Can Help You…
Feel more energetic, motivated, confident and capable so that you feel in control of your life again
Find a renewed sense of purpose so that you can feel fulfilled and proud of who you are
Improve communication skills and feel more connected in your relationships
Make sense of confusing and often contradictory feelings so you can make decisions which are in alignment with your values and beliefs.
Worry less about feelings of being “lazy”, “crazy” or like there is “something wrong with you” and treat yourself with the kind of compassion that actually helps you move forward